


help you carry the hurt

by ashandcas (ashriddle4)



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Bottom Clay, Crying During Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, M/M, Sex on Car, Smut, Top Tony, i have no underlying issues to address, it's pretty much all smut, just some dirty dirty shit, sorry that's a kink of mine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-29
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-25 11:16:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10763151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashriddle4/pseuds/ashandcas
Summary: The tension between Clay and Tony escalates into entirely something else...and instead of pushing Tony away, Clay pulls him in.(the garage scene reimagined)





	help you carry the hurt

**Author's Note:**

> i tried to make it as close to the original scene up to the point where clay pushes tony away. i watched that scene like 100 times, but i'm sure it still has some discrepancies.

_How could this have happened? How could any of this have happened?_ Wind gusted against Clay’s face as he pedaled his bike hard down the street. Rage boiled inside him, mixing like poison with his sadness, and curdling his veins into toxic sludge. 

Bryce had raped Jessica. Justin had done nothing to stop it. Hannah had done nothing to stop it. And now, after the tapes, no one else was doing anything to make him pay. Not even Tony.

Clay rounded the corner, his handlebars wobbling. He could see the outline of the Padilla’s house further down the block, a light glowed inside and Tony’s Mustang parked out front. He didn’t know what he planned to do, or what he thought coming here would help. He just knew he had to. 

He knocked on front the door to ask for Tony and Mr. Padilla sent him around back to the garage. Clay walked his bike through the open door. A machine filled the grey and yellow concrete room with a high pitched buzz.

“Hey Tony. Tony!” Clay called out, hoping his voice carried over the sound of the machine and through the cars and toolboxes and equipment all

“Yeah?”Tony was wearing an oil-stained jumpsuit and a curl of his dark hair fell down over his forehead.

Clay walked over to him. “Your dad said I could come find you.”

“You okay?” Tony asked.

 _No. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been okay._ “I just talked to Justin about Jessica.”

“Okay.” 

“How did everyone…how did you…just listen to that, and like ignore it?”

Tony pulled off his safety goggles and his gloves, then kept walking. His voice was stiff. “I don’t think anyone ignored it, Clay.”

 _He can’t be serious._ “Why is everyone protecting Bryce? Why are you?”

“I’m doing it for Hannah.”

Clay followed him over to a short toolbox. Anger burned between his ribs and Clay couldn’t keep it all inside anymore. “Fuck that, Tony. Fuck that, Jessica got raped and Justin’s got her completely brainwashed and everyone at school is just covering it up. That is beyond fucked up.”

Tony put away some tools and the shut then shut the drawer. “You don’t know the whole story yet.” He was so stable, so focused, and it edged underneath Clay’s skin. 

Tony started to take off his jumpsuit, exposing a sweatshirt and letting it hang around his waist. Could Tony be rattled? Would it be better if he could be?

“What else do I need to do know, Tony? Hell, you’re brainwashed too, just like the rest of them, but I’m not, okay? And I’m not gonna sit back and do nothing like you and everyone else, including Hannah.”

“Okay, you need to calm down.”

 _Calm down?_ Clay tensed, focused on Tony, like the rest of the world was just a kind of fuzzy blur. “She just let everyone intimidate her over and over and over until she just disappeared.” A deep breath and he continued, “Well not me. No, I am not giving up.”

“You’re upset.” There was a softness in how Tony looked at Clay, a softness that edged back his anger and Clay didn’t want his anger edged back. He wanted an explosion.

“You’re fucking right I’m upset!” he shouted. “Why aren’t you? Why isn’t everybody?”

That same solid softness and Tony said, “Just take breath, okay?” He walked past Clay and Clay wouldn’t have it. He couldn’t let Tony walk away from him right now. Ignore him right now. He needed…he needed _something._

Clay shoved Tony. “Fuck you, Tony.” 

Tony turned around, and Clay shoved him again. 

“Fuck you,” Clay spat.

Tony stiffened. “What the fuck are you doing, Clay?”

 _What am I doing?_ “Come on.” Clay shoved Tony again— and again.

Clay gripped onto Tony’s shirt, anger hot like fire through his body. Tony’s hands clasped over his and he stared right back at him. A nuclear stare. For the briefest moment, Clay thought to push Tony away, but he couldn’t do it. No. Clay had no choice but to catch on fire and explode into it.

Clay leaned down and kissed Tony with a force like angry knuckles. Tony immediately hit back, pressing into the kiss, threading a tongue into Clay’s mouth. All the oxygen was gone. Like floating in space, and Clay just wanted to breathe in the dark matter.

Winding fingers into his hair, Clay bit Tony’s lip and Tony grabbed his hips and shoved him against a tool box. Steel rattled against aluminum, a loud roar that drown out Clay’s thoughts. He wanted to drown all his thoughts, every last one, in a hot, wild torrent.

Tony’s mouth left Clay’s and Clay gripped his grey sweatshirt, trying to drag him back in, but Tony wouldn’t be pushed around. Tony’s wet, swollen lips tucked under Clay’s chin and kissed and bit down his neck. His tongue swept over Clay’s pulse. _Yes. Count my heartbeats with your tongue._

Clay dug his nails into Tony’s sweater, squeezing the soft fabric in his hands. He had to ensure Tony didn’t move further away, didn’t let him go spinning into nothingness. Clay needed Tony’s gravity. Needed to connect to his strong orbit.

Drawing in closer, Clay felt Tony’s hard cock against his leg. He hissed, feeling himself swell and hunched down just enough to rub their dicks together through their clothes.

“Don’t.” Tony spoke through his teeth. “Don’t you ever do that again. Not unless you mean it.”

Clay looked straight at Tony’s dark eyes and rutted against him a second time. Want burned through him, like an extra helix stitched into his DNA.

“ _Clay._ ” His voice was a warning.

Adrenaline shook Clay down to his bones. “Fuck me,” he breathed into Tony’s mouth.

Tony’s grip on Clay’s arms tightened into a strong vice and Tony practically threw Clay back against the toolbox. Clay hissed at a bite of sharp pain and Tony was kissing him again. Tugging Clay’s hair. Tasting like cinnamon and smelling like antifreeze. Tony may have been shorter than Clay but that meant nothing. Tony was a forest fire of power and Clay was an aspen tree, his leaves already starting to singe. 

“You sure about this?” Tony breathed.

Clay repeated himself, like all the other words he’d ever known had been blown out of him by the force of Tony’s kiss. Maybe they had been. “ _Fuck. Me._ ”

Tony grabbed Clay’s shirt and dragged him over to a Chevy that hadn’t been set onto jacks. Hot, calloused hands gripped Clay’s face as Tony crushed their mouths together in a deep, shocking kiss. He pulled away abruptly, spun Clay and slammed him onto the hood of the car.

Tony reached around and unbuttoned Clay’s jeans and started to tug them down his legs. “This okay?” Tony asked.

Clay shivered. “Don’t stop.”

Tony leaned over Clay and licked his ear. “We can stop or slow down whenever you want. Just say the word.” His voice was gravelly but even. Tony Padilla was always so steady, sure— a perfect contrast to the constantly splintering Clay Jensen.

After Clay’s shaky nod, Tony tugged Clay’s jeans and underwear down to his knees. The cold hair hit his ass and he could feel the goosebumps race across his bared skin. Could feel his aching, hard dick squeezed against the cold metal hood. 

“Gorgeous. Fuck, Clay. Fuck.”

Clay heard some unzipping, some tearing and grunting behind him. A hand ran over Clay’s ass, slid down his legs. “Please, hurry,” Clay mumbled.

“Want me to hurry?” Tony plunged a finger right into Clay’s ass. He’d lubed it somehow—probably what the tearing was— but no hesitation, no slow push. Just sank straight inside him.

“Shit. Fuck,” Clay spat. It was already tight, and it was just a finger. What would a dick be like?

Tony ran a hand up his shirt. Clay couldn’t believe he had a finger up his ass and this many clothes on at the same time. Couldn’t believe that it just made all this even hotter.

“God, you look incredible like this.” Tony slid another finger in beside the first and started to thrust it in and out. “You ever had anything inside you before?”

Trembling, Clay shook his head. “N-no.”

“And you’re ready to take my whole dick? Right now?”

“Yes.” Clay wasn’t sure how _ready_ he actually was but he knew he needed it. Needed to feel Tony inside him, holding him— _fuck—_ mounting him. 

“Holy shit, you’re perfect.” Tony came around the side of the car, leaned down and kissed Clay hard and Clay tried to equal his strength but the position made it difficult so he just gave in to Tony’s control.

As Tony walked back behind him, Clay got a glimpse of his thick dick, erect, sheathed in a condom, bouncing between his muscled thighs. Clay’s heart thrummed wildly. _That’s going to be inside me…fuck._

He felt Tony’s legs brush the backs of his, and Clay squirmed. Tony locked a strong hand down on Clay’s head, thumb brushing over his ear. 

“Stay still.” Tony hissed.

A strong, blunt pressure pushed against his rim, and Clay couldn’t breathe, his whole body tense, pulled tight like a rubber band. His legs tightened.

“Do you want to stop?” Tony asked.

“No.”

“Then, spread your legs, baby.”

Clay swallowed, shaking. Fear built in his chest but the last thing he wanted to do was stop. With his jeans still around his knees, Clay widened his stance as much as he could.

“I’ll go slow,” Tony said.

The head of Tony’s cock pushing against Clay’s hole again, forcing him open. Slow. So slow. Too slow. Clay stiffened and shoved his ass back against Tony filling himself full.

Clay shouted, stinging pain radiated through his body, bringing tears to his eyes.  “Ow, shit, fuck,” he nearly whimpered. “That hurts.”

Tony made a choking sound, his hand sliding down Clay’s face to his shoulder. “Clay, shit. That’s why I was going slow. Fuck, you’re tight. What were you thinking?”

Pain still there but dulling, Clay said, “Wasn’t thinking. Wanted you.”

Tony pulled back slow and then moved back in, coursing pleasure through every inch of Clay’s body. “You’ve got me. I’m right here.”

Clay just lay there, feeling every inch, every second of being fucked, of giving his ass up to Tony. A full, wonderful, grounding burn. Tony occasionally bent down to pepper kisses over Clay’s spine, whisper words in Spanish Clay couldn’t understand against his skin.

“More,” Clay breathed out. “Harder.”

Tony growled, bracing his hands on Clay’s hips and his thrusts transformed from powerful and slow to hard, quick and wild. Clay’s dick slid against the metal, burning and creating just the right kind of pressure.

Clay’s whole body numbed and floated, like instead of being a whole person, he was just his individual atoms all buzzing together. It felt good… _great_. For the first time in so long, he wasn’t just this dark cloud stitched up in a sky of pain. Tears burned at his eyes and before he remembered he even had an actual body, he was crying onto the Chevy and coming on Tony’s cock.

“Shit, Clay, I’m sorry.” Tony stopped thrusting but stayed buried and hard as a pistol inside Clay. “Oh god, I’m sorry. What’s—”

“I’m fine,” Clay managed through a sob. “It’s not you. I’m just…”

Tony started to pull out and Clay reached back to stop him.

“No, no, no. Please don’t.”

“You already came.”

“You didn’t.” He licked a tear off his lips.

“That doesn't matter.”

Clay let out a sigh. How could he get Tony to understand? “I…I still need you inside me. Please, Tony.”

Tony smoothed Clay’s hair down. “Shh, okay, baby. Okay.” He pulled out of Clay.

Clay’s stomach sank, but Tony flipped him over and kissed him softly, deeply on the mouth. He pulled Clay to sitting, tugged his jeans the rest of the way off and then stripped off hoody, his shirt. Leaving him bare. Clay shivered and shook as he looked down at Tony’s long, thick dick. He wanted it back. Badly.

Tony wiped a falling tear from Clay’s face— _why can’t I stop crying?_ — and wrapped Clay’s legs around his waist. Clay watched as Tony lined that big dick up with his aching hole and pushed in again. _Thank God. Thank God._

Clay whimpered and wrapped his arms around Tony, burying his face into the soft sweatshirt. 

“Make it stop,” Clay muttered. “Make it stop hurting.”

Tony kissed his forehead as he thrust in slowly. “I can’t. I wish I could. All I can do is…help you carry the hurt.”

Clay sniffled and nodded as Tony’s rough hand cradled his small, soft cock, his thumb gently stroking the slit. Heat flowered in Clay’s cheeks. He should be embarrassed right? That right now his whole dick fit comfortably in Tony’s palm. But he didn’t care. It didn’t matter.

“Beautiful, Clay. You’re so beautiful.”

No one had ever said that to him before and he found he liked it a lot. More than maybe he should. He had no idea how long they stayed like that. Sharing small kissed, tear-stained kisses with Tony just making slow rolls in and out of him. It could have been ten minutes. It could have been a year. It wouldn’t have mattered. He’d have stayed there forever.

“Clay, I…I’m going to.” His thrusts picked up a little more. 

“Good. Want to feel you come inside me.”

Tony pulled Clay in for another kiss, long and deep, tongue and teeth. He shouted against Clay’s mouth and Clay felt warm, pulses of heat inside him. He almost wished the condom wasn’t there so he could feel the wetness too. See Tony’s come leak out of him and down his legs. 

“Thank you,” Clay breathed, kissing the stars behind Tony’s ear. “Thank you for helping me.”

Tony let out a soft breath. “Always.”


End file.
